In memory of my Grandma

Today is 17th Ramadhan and it will always revoke a painful memory to me. Today is the day that my lovely grandma passed away – exactly 3 years ago.

I still remember that it was the first Ramadhan that I was going to celebrate my first AidilFitri with my family after 6 years in Bristol. I was really looking forward to Syawal and have been spending most of time at home. Sometimes I break fast at my grandma’s house and I absolutely love her cooking.

She’s been a healthy old lady and always full of life. We went to a market together during that Ramadhan and I remembered that we used one of her old friend’s car on the way back from the market. I still remember their conversation in the car; that most of their friends have passed away and not many still around. Mak as what I always call her, said that she always prayed that Allah will take her away on 17th Ramadhan whenever she become a burden to people around her. I kinda feel weird that we were having that conversation but didn’t say much.

The next day, she started acting strange and kept saying that somebody will come soon and she said that her body is aching but she did not want to go to the hospital. She began sweating but she kept saying that she’s cold. These were going on for two days. On the third night, she started showing all of her collection that we’ve never seen before and I was the one asked to take note of all that stuffs. There was this one group of granddad’s friend at the house that night and we asked them to pray for Mak. She wanted to join the prayer and was preparing for it as well when she got a fit. Me and Angah was so shocked and mom immediately asked us to recite the verses from the Holy Quran. I was so scared at that time. I took position at her head besides Angah and both of us recite Yaasin. She passed away at the end of Yassin, peacefully. I still remember she asked to open the front door as wide as possible as she saw lots of people waiting for her outside while at that time none of us saw anything.

She passed away without seeing my grandad as we cannot locate him. Me, mom and my sisters did the final bath ritual. My aunts and uncle arrived from all over the place the next morning to attend the funeral. None of us in the house slept that night. We kept vigil at her side since that was our last time together. She was buried in the morning and so many people attended her funeral. The morning mist was so surreal and I felt so peaceful.

Everybody was saying that I’m the lucky one. I was the one that stay so far away, in Bristol, yet I was the one at her side when she passed away. Even Kak Chik was not at her funeral. I feel so honored to be there when she left us. I’ve been praying that I’ll be there when she passed away and thank you Allah for listening to my prayer.

Even though I did not get the chance to celebrate AidilFitri with her, I was so proud that I was there for her until the end. That was the worst AidilFitri for my family. It was a big blow to us especially my granddad, that we managed to locate after the second day my grandma passed away. We tried our best to be strong during the AidilFitri celebration for my granddad but deep inside ….. It was hard.

May Allah bless her and shower her with all His love.